Where There`s a Will, There`s a Way

It was hard to get to sleep last night but it was even harder to sleep in. The motorcycle crash was being replayed every fifteen minutes like that accursed CNN Headline News channel. I really tried to sleep but my throbbing leg just wouldn't let me get comfortable. It was nine in the morning and I had to get up. I could feel my body was in need of a morning beer and if I didn't secure that somehow there would be an all out rebellion. The only problem is I'm really not sure how I'm going to walk.

I've had this problem before. I remember when I left the womb all those years ago I had a hard time walking. It took me a couple of years to figure it out but this time I could use past experience to shorten my learning curve. What did I do again?

Right! I crawled first.

So I rolled myself out of bed, thankful that the bed was the European style without a box spring. My arms prevented my crash to the floor. I had a lot of trouble straightening my leg so I did a one legged crawl/stumble/hop move that got me to the other side of my bedroom door. Once out of the bedroom I got a bit of a rhythm going and made my way to the fridge.

Damn it all to Hades! No beer.

I settle for coffee and made myself a small sandwich. I pulled down my pajamas to see what my leg looked like and I'm really quite impressed with the color palette used to create this masterpiece:

The contrast of purples and yellows mixed with a bile like brown. A real Picasso if I say so myself. Or at Monet at the very least.

I crippled myself upstairs to see if there were any beers hidden in the 'secret' fridge but alas it was barren of any hop flavored medicine. There was no choice left. I would have to get to the corner store about 400 meters away. Oh the humanity!

I realized very quickly that walking 'down' stairs was infinitely harder than walking up them. Damn that was uncomfortable. When I got outside I realized that walking to the corner store was a bigger task than I had planned for. I was beginning to think getting to the store was going to require a travel agent so I sat down and pondered the situation. It was with a simple observation that I realized what had to be done. It didn't hurt to bend my leg as long as it stayed bent. I then tested if I could wiggle my toes. My toes worked. How about my ankle? Ankle... check! I think I'm in business.

I went into the foyer and grabbed my helmet. There was a big crack in it. It doesn't matter. I'm just going to the store I don't even need a helmet! I grabbed my matching green beanie instead of my regular convertible motorcycle helmet and hobbled over to my bike. Normally I would have rolled the motorcycle to the bottom of the hill before I started it, but I didn't have it in me to take the chance that I might have to push it back up the hill. I climbed on the back of my cafe racer slowly and started it up. I set my right leg on the foot peg and put it into 1st gear while it was still on the kick stand. I put the kickstand up and balanced the motorbike with my left leg. I slowly released the clutch and picked my left foot up I tested the rear brake with my right foot and I didn't enjoy the shot of pain so I decided this was going to be a front brake only kind of day.

When I reached the pavement at the bottom of the dirt driveway it was clear sailing. I rode down to the store with no problems. There was the usual group of men congregated outside the corner store having beers and smoking cigarettes but they moved out of the way when I approached. I coasted the bike onto the flat in front of the store, pulled the clutch in, put my left foot down as I braked, and turned the motorcycle off. I couldn't get at the kickstand without putting weight on my right foot so I just dismounted the bike and put down the kickstand from an upright position. Piece of cake!

How am I going to back my motorcycle out? Who cares lets have another beer!