Friday, July 31, 2009

Take a Load Off


Motorcycle Adventure Travel | Vintage Kentucky Fried Chicken BucketI booked my flights to Europe three and a half weeks ago. Up until that moment I honestly didn't believe I was going and with that mindset I didn't do any preparation for the trip beyond imagining a route. It was two days later when I bent down to pick a towel up off the ground in the bathroom and I couldn't get back up that I realized the folly of my lack of prep work. I'm really out of shape!

After I managed to get myself upright again I dried off and got dressed. I dug through my closet to find my motorcycle jacket and lo and behold I'm busting out at the seams? I'm not just out of shape, I'm obese as well!

OK don't panic! I still have time to get it together. I have three weeks before I go. If I drop 5 pounds and get myself down to around 225 pounds I'll be fine for this trip. I can stop drinking beer until I get there and I will lose weight without any effort. Good plan. I better get to weighing myself. I fire up my Nintendo Wii and drag out the balance board. It's been a long time since I've turned this machine on. Alright... go through the menus and start Wii Fit. Pick my profile... OK time to step on the board. What!?! The computer just said ouch when I stepped on the board. Sick sense of humour at Nintendo. Alright. I press 'A' for the last time and the unit starts talking, "Measuring... measuring... measuring... All done!"

My center of balance is way to the right. Makes sense. That's the side I dress on. Now for my weight.

246 Pounds


I'm 246 pounds and well into the obese scale. Let's do the math. I'm 246 and I need to be 225 so 246 less 225 equals 21. I need to lose 21 pounds in three weeks. Oh my god! I'm doomed! I really have turned into fat Elvis. I console myself with a bagel and cream cheese with cheddar and Swiss cheese melted over top. This isn't productive.

I need to come up with a plan. OK... done! I have a cunning plan:

"Stop eating and start exercising."

I'm a genius!

I'll start tomorrow.

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