Friday, April 18, 2008

If at first you don't succeed... Don't try hang gliding


I start this story out the same as the last.

It's 5am and do you know where your children are?

Actually it's quarter to five and I have been awakened in the worst way. My day begins with a squeeky voiced, "meeko...meeko daddy" followed by a hammer fist to the nose and, "MEEKO DADDY!"

For those of you who don't speak two year old Croatian I will translate. Meeko is two year old talk for Mleko, which is Croatian for Milk. Last night I put my daughter in bed with me because she wanted to sleep with her daddy and this is the way I'm repaid for my kindness.

So I go to the kitchen to make a bottle. Of course first I have to clean a bottle. Warm it up and hand serve it to the Princess of the Universe. Well no sense in going back to sleep. I go through my morning routine; toilet, brush teeth, shave, shower, hair and clothes. Done. Now what? I have time to kill. Hey! There's my motorcycle handbook. I guess I could have a read through it and go take my learners again. Of course that would negate my 1 day of legal riding. Who cares? Not me.

I have a read through the book. Is it me or have all the road signs changed? I thought school zone signs were blue. I'm in trouble, I think. It says in the book that the number one cause of motorcycle fatalities is riding after drinking and not being able to navigate a turn. I don't believe that for a second. The last time I rode drunk I crashed because I couldn't navigate a straight away. A turn would have been easy.

The morning passes and I arrive at the British Columbia Motor Vehicle Branch around 11:30am. I'm a sucker for punishment so I go to the one in Richmond. I try to find the sign to direct me to the proper line but I don't see any signage in English. Should have payed more attention to the subtitles in all those Kung-fu movies I watched as a kid. Of course one wrong move in this place and I could be in the middle of one of my own. OK, talk to the receptionist, she'll point me in the right direction. Ask her for my learners and she gives me a numbered ticket. Wow! That was easy. My number gets called next... OK... where's the camera? This has to be a set up. I ask the girl for my Class 6 learners knowledge test, she takes my ID and says go to computer 6. How quick was that?

I start the test. I'm a little nervous. You just never know ho these things will go. Forty questions and you're allowed 8 wrong. Good thing I studied the road signs. I wouldn't have passed this yesterday. The drinking and driving question comes up. Good thing I paid attention. I get through the test in about 10 minutes. Forty questions and only four wrong. I don't even remember which ones.

I go to the girl and she asks how I did, she looks in her computer and I hear the printer start printing off my new Learner's permit. She takes a look at it and pauses. To her surprise she says, "It says you don't have any restrictions on your Learner's and you can go straight to the road test without taking the MST!" My pulse quickens and my eyes dilate, I try to maintain my composure but I know what I look like. I've been in sales too long not to recognize when a customer thinks I've undercharged him. I reply, "Yes... I know. I took my MST a couple of days ago and they mentioned I would have to do my knowledge test over to extend my time period."

She gives me a blank look. Good, she has worked here a while so there will be no chance of logical thinking or reasoning going through her head. She looks at her computer, then I see her look at the clock... NOON. What timing! No chance she will risk staying through her lunch to do the right thing and reset my license. There is a Santa Claus Charlie Brown! She folds up my license and hands it to me like its a drug deal. I grab it from her quickly and bolt out of the Motor Vehicle Branch as quickly as possible without looking too much like a bank robber. I make it! The heist is complete. I run to my car, get in and unfold the paper. I read through it and it reads like a winning lottery ticket. Restriction Code 10 - Drive unattended between sunrise and sunset; no passengers. I have a year to complete my road test!

I'm legal again. I wish I had my bike right now.

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1 comment

Anonymous said...

I love your blog buddy! Its the only thing that I actually read on the net on a regular basis (this and 'Get Fuzzy'). Congrats on winning the lottery at the MVB! Say Hi to Olivia and Izabel for me- Shannon

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